Where did all our Vulcans go?
The energy, time and money Pakistan puts into politics, politicking and the art of wheeling-and-dealing blow the mind and the national wallet. Read any publication and there’s a scandal brewing, a politician staging a “dharna” about something, a scam in the works, or a disagreement about something or the other. All the quotes contained in...
Absurdistan
We live in strange times in a strange country. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pakistan and have chosen to live here, pay my taxes here and raise my children here. But as a student of political science and history, and an interested observer, I have seen fewer countries more bizarre than us. Approximately 30,000...
KERRY-LUGAR AND THE CRITICS
It’s Bakra Eid and your neighbor sends you some meat from their goat which they have just slaughtered. You open the door and take the bloody tray. But then you send it right back saying that you didn’t like the cut which was sent over and that the tray was also not acceptable, and the...
America / Foreign Policy / Holbrooke / IDPS / Obama / Pakistan / Politics / Publication / Saudi / Swat / Zardari
MICROMANAGING PAKISTAN
Richard Holbrooke is back and this time it’s to look at the refugee crisis as a result of the Swat Operation, meet with the folks he needs to, and generally earn his keep. By the looks of it Mr. Holbrooke spends as much time in Pakistan as President Zardari, and definitely much more time than...
The “But” Syndrome
The 27th of May bombing in Lahore, which has taken a minimum of 23 lives and wounded over 300 people can only be seen as a retaliatory strike by the Taliban who are finally at the receiving end from the Pakistan Army. The highly effective Army operation in Swat and Malakand Division now has the...
DEBATING FOR PAKISTAN
Just when you think that you can’t be surprised any more, celestial forces drop something in your lap which make you cock your head and re-read the words on your screen. In this instance, this columnist has read a Press Release from the Ministry of Information six times and remains in a state of amazement....
PERPETUAL CRISIS
Ever since I’ve been a child I’ve been hearing that Pakistan is passing through a critical stage and how the nation needs to come together to get through this “marhallah”. I am now 32 and we are again going through yet another crisis. In my lifetime one Prime Minister was hung by a General, two...
LAND OF THE CUNNING PLAN
As far as television comedies go there is none superior to the Blackadder series starring Rowan Atkinson and in 2000, The British Film Institute ranked it at number 16 in their “100 Greatest British Television Program” list. What sets Blackadder apart from contemporary television comedies for me are the brilliant script, great acting, and reflection...
LOTA SEASON AGAIN
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Land of the Pure, I am pleased to announce the commencement of lota season in our fair lands. For the uninitiated, lota season comes around every time elections are held, but it actually begins much before the actual election. For a foreigner reading this column who might be thinking that...
MARTIAN LAW
If you woke up one day and found out that little green men from Mars had invaded Pakistan in their whacky spaceships and had imposed Martian Law throughout the Land of the Pure, it wouldn’t be all that different from what we’re witnessing today. The theater of the absurd continues which leaves almost every citizen...
OPERATION KURSI BACHAO
General Sahib and his pets have launched Operation Kursi Bachao with an urgency which would put the desperate veterans of Dunkirk to shame. The “strategy” is to launch a three-pronged thrust to retain power, and talk to just about everybody to see who’ll cut the best deal. The Benazir Bhutto/General Musharraf duo which is being...
LOTA SEASON
While a lota is technically an urn used to clean oneself after going to the loo in South Asia, the term has been used to describe opportunistic politicians who have no qualms in switching sides whenever they feel that the tide is turning. There seems to be a dearth of honest politicians who have...
